When I gave up my full-time job to become a stay-at-home mom, part of me felt like I deserved it. I’d been at the same demanding job for 14 years. I’d placed two precious infants in daycare. I’d been a mom for more than a decade with too few precious moments to show for it.
Being a working mom kicked my ass in a multitude of ways. The 4:30 AM wake-up call. The crazy LA commute. The high stress, and low, low flexibility. With my youngest son first to be dropped off at daycare and my oldest last to be picked up, my family’s normal was far from joyful.
I’d felt the disconnect in our home for years. My husband had, too, but it wasn’t until he asked, “What are we even doing? Who is all this for?” that I began to wonder. From wonder came planning, from planning came praying, from praying came courage, and from courage eventually came quitting.
What I didn’t know then was just how much guilt would follow me — and from the most unexpected places. [read more…]