How My Friendships Changed After Kids

Today

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40 Things 40 Is (and One Thing That It Isn’t)

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I’m turning 40 next month. I suppose the idea of bidding final farewell to my thirties ought to furrow my brow a little, but it doesn’t. Maybe it’s because I’ve had 39 years and 11 months to prepare for it. Maybe it’s because I survived my husband’s 40th freak-out earlier this year. Or maybe it’s because 40 finally feels like I’m coming into my own.

Forty is a lot of things to a lot of people, but to me, 40 is:

  1. Knowing (and really loving) grocery store music.
  2. Having a doctor/dentist/CPA/boss who is younger than you.
  3. The inability to recognize a single VMA nominee.
  4. Saying things like, “Kids today … ” and actually meaning it.
  5. Finding new moles and hairs that weren’t there yesterday. [read more…]

Sometimes I Feel Guilty for Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

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When I gave up my full-time job to become a stay-at-home mom, part of me felt like I deserved it. I’d been at the same demanding job for 14 years. I’d placed two precious infants in daycare. I’d been a mom for more than a decade with too few precious moments to show for it. […]

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To the Daughter I’ll Never Have

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Dearest Daughter, You might not know this, but I’ve spent most of my life wishing for you. From the time I was a child, I diligently cared for my baby girl dolls with all the love and attention a mother could give. As I imagined my life as a wife and a mom, the someday […]

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Dear Kids, It’s Not My Job to Entertain You This Summer

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  Three days into summer vacation and my kids are already bored. Apparently 42.8% of one week is all it takes to eat all the “good” food, catch up on the DVR, and tire of video games. Did my kids think I had some kind of not bummer summer in the works? Did they assume […]

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62 Thoughts Parents Have at 8th Grade Graduation

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Today I watched my son cross the stage in his 8th grade promotion ceremony. Dressed sharp in a charcoal vest and tie, he took to the field of his new high school seven inches taller and immeasurably wiser than the once-timid kid nearly swallowed whole by 7th grade. Junior high wasn’t easy on any of […]

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Mothers Need Mothering, Too

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When I was in high school, pagers were the ultimate status symbol. Clipped to your hip, a beeper told the world you were in demand. And everyone wanted one. Well, everyone except me. Because as cool as the Motorola Bravo ever was, the idea of my mom blowing up my beeper would never be. And […]

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Stop Telling Me to Have a “Last-Chance Baby”

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“Can I see your ID?” the cashier asked as two bottles of Merlot made their way down the conveyor belt. “Of course!” I exclaimed with entirely too much enthusiasm. “Oh, you’re almost 40,” she remarked. As I nodded and braced myself for a pity compliment on good aging, she pointed to my kids. “How old […]

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I Just Realized Why Having Older Kids Is Actually the Greatest Thing Ever

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It’s 4 AM and we just returned home from a Vegas turnaround — with our kids. To go to a rock concert — with our kids. And you know what? It was the best time ever. It wasn’t long ago that a trip like this was completely out of the question. We were parents of little ones […]

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The Hardest Part of Parenting a Teen Is All the Not Knowing

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Driving home from freshman orientation, my teenage son says nothing. Sprawled out in the passenger seat, bangs covering his eyes, he fidgets with the automatic window. “So, high school … it seems pretty cool, right?” I insist. “I guess,” he shrugs, as he stares out the open window. “High school’s going to be a lot […]

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