20 Things That Happen When You Go Grocery Shopping with Kids

As a parent, there are a lot of things we’re forced to learn the hard way. Like, how an exception quickly becomes a rule to a child, or how an injury can occur from the most benign source, or how grocery shopping with kids is a special brand of torture.

And I’m bitter about it. Particularly about the last one. Somebody could have at least warned us. We might have been able to better prepare ourselves, bring in reinforcements, or develop an app for that, but noooo. Each one of us is thrust into grocery store grief unaware of the mayhem to come.

The first time we’re required to leave a full cart in aisle five on account of an explosive diaper or tantrum, we fool ourselves into believing things can’t get any worse. But they do. Soon enough, we find ourselves shopping with a hungry kid (or three) on crowded Sunday afternoons with only two aisles open. We shop when there’s only soy sauce packets and stale tortillas in the house despite weather suggesting certain armageddon. We shop when our kids are cranky, exhausted, and sometimes even contagious; all because we need stupid food from the stupid grocery store to stupid survive. Remind me again why there’s not a grocery store daycare center?

Despite the unforeseen and always ridiculous circumstances surrounding grocery shopping with kids, there are chilling constants I’ve grown to depend on. Take a look at 20 things that happen every time I go grocery shopping with kids.