8 Things I Never Understood About My Mother — Until Now

When it comes to motherhood, it’s hard to say who shapes who more — the mother or the child. And even though moms parent with varying moments of warmth, understanding, rigidity, and spontaneity, devotion remains at the heart of each and every one.

But mom’s unconditional love doesn’t mean her methods are always easily understood. My mom was an amazing woman full of love and gentle guidance, but there were plenty of times I didn’t grasp her reasoning. It wasn’t clear to me why she’d lead me to independence only to keep me on what sometimes felt like a short leash, or why she trusted me, but not necessarily those around me. Before I was a mother, I didn’t understand that to her I was everything — her only child; the greatest love of her life.

If I had to round up the biggest quandaries that defined my development, these eight momisms perhaps say them best.