Reality Bites: Let’s Play Nice

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I would never want to spark a Work Outside the Home Mom (WOHM) vs. Stay At Home Mom (SAHM) debate, because the battle is emotionally charged, super touchy and always ugly.  Besides, I don’t have space to store all those soapboxes anyway.

Recently I read an article that referred to working mothers “Part-time Mothers”.  As a working mother, I can assure you that nothing about my devotion to my children is part-time.  Further, the stereotypes that surround the Stay At Home Mom are equally ignorant.  Neither the SAHM or the WOHM have it easier, they just have it different.

We have all made choices.  We have all made sacrifices.  We are all mothers. 

Seems to me we are more similar than different.

And really, whether we work outside or inside the home, we are all working to raise smart, socially responsible and kind children who possess the values we personally hold dear.

So to the sensational media, the misinformed and the moms with their dukes up, I say this:
Let’s stop all this madness and just play nice; our moms taught us better than this.


  1. Totally.

  2. That truly irks me. This “part-time mom”is ready to kick some some ass, full-time. I’d really like to read that article. Why? Because apparently I’m in the mood to get all riled up. Do you have a link?

  3. I get to play mom and dad, and let me tell you that just cause you work doesn’t mean you aren’t the shizniq parent. I know parents who are stay at home moms and barely look at or touch their kids, and some working moms who have only a few hours a day, but NEVER don’t make every second count. Between those two situations, it’s not hard to see which situation is better for the kids. Obviously I’ve seen the other end of the spectrum both ways too.It’s about quality, not always quantity.Single Dad Laughing

  4. With so many other issues that people feel the need to argue about, it would be nice if Mom’s could just support eachother across the board. Personally I prefer a female gynae, if she was always home with her kids I would be stuck with a man looking up North 🙂

  5. I totally and completely agree with this sentiment. I have been a stay-at-home mom for nearly five years now and i have watched these battles take place. It’s interesting to see that sometimes it’s the “Oh, the such-and-suchs have it so much easier than WE do” but other times it’s the “oh, the such-and-suchs have it so much HARDER than we do…” But it’s often framed in an “oh, i could NEVER do that …” context. The truth is that what’s right for you and your family might not be right in a year or five year’s time and it might not be right for the person next door. And often, our views on the “other” side often say more about ourselves than about the “other” side. (ponder that one for awhile 😉 We need to take judgment out of the conversation and be more supportive.

  6. Wow! You’ve just summed up the whole point of my book. Obviously, I couldn’t agree more! 😉 Hear hear!

  7. Great post, Lori. Quick question though – are you saying that you think I could get ugly?!? 😉

  8. I have been a work outside the home mom and now I am a stay at home mom. They both have their pros and cons. Fortunately I never had anybody guilt me about working when I was a working mom. I would have told then to F off if they did. Some moms work because they want to, and some moms work because they have to. I am fortunate enough to get to stay home now. I don’t want to work. I have worked my whole life. I want to be lazy now.

  9. SAHM, WAHM, WOHM…blah blah blah. The internal debates are disheartening and downright silly. We as moms need to come together, appreciate each others differences and fight for better rights that at least give us the choice to raise our kids, our way. Currently I am reading “The War on Moms”, with Parents Who Read (icon on my page), and this book weighs all of our issues as Parents. So this may be a good read for parents to pick up. You are one of the best WOHM’s I know here in the blogging world. From the stories you share, your little ones appear very happy to me. Glad you’re always willing to present these kinds of issues!

  10. I don’t think there is such thing as a part-time mom. Whether we work or not, we do what we feel is bet for our families. We really need to get along!

  11. I think it all stems from that age old competition of who is better that starts in childhood. The “I’m better because…” that helps us feel better about ourselves.You’re absolutely right though, it is long past time for us to grow up and play nice. Course it would help if the media would stop throwing the studies of how one is better than the other in our faces all the time. sigh!Let’s all blame the media and go blow them up. he he!

  12. I agree that the two worlds are equally challenging but different. We all make choices that we feel is the best for our family. Regardless of our decision, we all have a common goal. I still don’t understand why we just can’t support one another in our decisions vs always judging.

  13. There is certainly no right or wrong way. I’ve been a stay at home mom and a working mom. It was easier staying home but I certainly think it’s been good for my brain to work. The best thing is to get a balance so that stress and anxiety doesn’t set in. Of course that balance is impossible on most days but we can try!

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