Blogging: It’s Not (Always) About Reaching the Most People

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Not every blogger starts out with the goal of becoming Dooce

Yet I somehow think that’s the general perception of  a lot of folks outside the blogging community.  Not all bloggers are out to climb their way to the top of the bloggy pyramid; it’s a good thing too – the top of the blog pyramid is pretty damn small.  

Finding your niche and building your blog empire takes a level commitment I may never be able to adequately muster.  The proper care and feeding of blogs is nothing less than a lifestyle.

For me, it’s not about reaching the most people, it’s about reaching the best people.  But who are the best people?  The best people are those who get you.  Those who take something away from your site.  Those who feel genuine joy as you celebrate your triumphs.  Those who offer compassion rather than judgment when you share your personal struggles.

Mommyfriend began as a place to write and make connections.  If I never reached another reader I could honestly say I fulfilled my dream.  Like how amazing is that?  I’ve made friends with the most amazing people (pssst…that’s you) who have taught me so so so much along the way.   

Thank you for proving that the mommy wars are for those who just don’t get it.  Mommy Friends do exist and you are each a testament to that.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for being the best people I know and allowing me to do my thang.  Frankly, I’m just excited to be here.


  1. It’s been about a year since my blog blew up, totally unexpectedly. Since then I’ve made friends with two fellow bloggers, have connections with several ‘regulars’ and am constantly amazed by the insightful, thoughtful, and honest comments left by people who stuck around to read me even when they realized I didn’t always write hilarious list entries. I admit, I was horrified watching one of my posts hit 80,000 shares. It was exhilarating but also made me realize that it was too late to take anything back that I’d written previously on a blog intended mostly for my family and friends. No complaints though, it’s been an incredible experience with wonderful people.

  2. LOVE LOVE LOVE this post, you couldn’t be more right. My goal is just to share my stories and connect with others…the bonus has been making “true” friendships along the way. So glad I have met you, however bummed we live too far away 😦

  3. I really don’t follow people like Dooce. I like you and bloggers like you! I think when you find people who are like minded, you connect. I also think there are many people who don’t comment but still enjoy your blog (at least I hope so! 🙂

    • Me too Betsy. I quite enjoy the smaller bloggers because it’s an open exchange of ideas between author and reader. The big blogs can’t really offer that.

  4. SOOO true! Just as in life, we aim for quality friendships, the Internet is just a way of expanding your circle of good, real friends. Thanks for that insight!

  5. You’re awesome, and I’m so glad I met you here in bloggy-land. I’m even more excited that I’m meeting you in PERSON in TWO (ish!) months! Yay! xoxo

  6. This is so true! My blog is dying and not reaching anyone right now, lol! But I had to remember why I started blogging in the first place. I wanted to find inspiration to write, and YOU along with a few others along the way give me that everyday. I’ve found that now and I’m writing just not blogging as much.

    • Thanks my dear! XOXO Sometimes our priorities shift and we have to be OK with that. It’s about the relationships and the quality of what we do offer.

  7. That is so true! I’ve made so many terrific friends through blogging – it’s incredible. No I’ll never be dooce, but that’s okay. That’s too much pressure anyway.

  8. madwomanbehindtheblog says:

    Hi, thank you Empress for tweeting this post!
    This needs to be shouted from the rooftops and shared with every woman who sits down to start a blog. You’ve said this so well….the drive to rise to the top, the LIFESTYLE and the community.
    Amen sister!

    • It’s not about the numbers, those will drive us quiety crazy and make us doubt why we bother at all. There is so much to be gained through these relationships!

  9. So right.

    On every point.

  10. Perfect, I completely agree. I don’t know where blogging is taking me, but I am loving where I am. Thanks for putting into words so well!

  11. How true! When I first started blogging (only 1.5 months ago), a friend suggested I read Dooce. I did and was like what? To aspire to be like her? Impossible. And I realized quickly, it wasn’t what I want anyway. I’d much rather make some really good friends along the way and not obsess about being ‘big’. Thanks for articulating it so well.

  12. You are a beautiful friend, Lori. Thank you.

  13. You hit the nail on my head…lol I totally agree with what you just said! I am just here to have some fun and post my thoughts and “Adventures”. Kudos to you my lovely lady and V loggy Diva! Which I love to watch.

  14. I love this blog post. Relationships is what it’s all about and I’m hoping I can build good friendships like what you have. =)

  15. What a wonderful post and a reminder of what is really important. Well said my friend!

  16. Awesome post!! Thank you for writing this. It’s (absurdly) difficult to find a supportive community but we at Note Worthy love hearing about women who inspire others. Keep on blogging!!! we TOTALLY get how much of an investment you make in keeping up your blog!

  17. I love this post. I have made some amazing friends through blogging. And years from now, that is what will be what sticks with me.

  18. Galit Breen says:

    This is such a fabulous, important post! Thank you for just putting out there- the relationships we’re all building? Are incredible!

  19. I love you. That is all.

  20. I may only get a few people on my blog that comment or read but they are all mine. LOL I feel like Rick Dees sometimes. I have 4 readers instead of 4 listeners. LOL. BUT they are 4 great listeners! So yes I have to agree with this. I’m happy that I am a Mommy Friend, you inspire me to get back to the blog. I will eventually Vlog…when I find the right under eye concealer. :P. Thank YOU for connecting with us.

  21. you know it! 🙂

  22. I L-O-V-E this post! I was just thinking this the other day! I’m glad you’re having fun and not trying to change anytime soon. I love coming to read your blog & I swear every time I see one of your vlogs I keep thinking “This is her way of subconsciously pushing me to do this b/c it looks so fun!” Lol!

  23. I started writing to build a writing online presence to build a portfolio but I have done so much more in the past 2 years. I have built a wonderful community with fabulous women who I respect and love, you included my friend!XO

  24. and cannot wait to meet you at Blogher! When do you arrive out there?

  25. Oh, how much I love stopping over into your little bloghome, watching you in your vlogging masterpieces and laughing along or commiserating where needed … good morning!!!
    I, for one, am happy to be your friend!

  26. How true it is! Glad to be a FOM (friend of Mommy Friend).
    can’t wait to hang this summer!!! 🙂

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