~This post is rated M for mature content~
In an effort to get to know Mommyfriend’s lovely readers better, I often check out my site analytics including top referring websites, trackbacks and the search terms that land readers right here, into my Mommyfriend world.
I often cringe by what I find.
Top Cringe-Worthy Search Terms
1. “Mom %$#@ my friend” – Yikes. Poor you and get off my site.
2. “Dirty mommy cartoons” – Hmm, Big Daddy P, put that on your resume. Get off my site.
3. “Massage gone wild” and the related “Pittsburgh massage and spanking”- I see why those search terms would land you this post, but eww. Get off my site.
4. “Teenage girl wants mommy’s friend” – Disturbing and illegal. Get off my site.
5. “Love toy” – Really? You landed here? Get off my site.
6. “My secret toys” – I see why that search term would land you to this post, but please, get off my site.
7. “MILF” – Um, OK. Get off my site.
8. “Hot Mommy Friends” – Landed you to this post, which I doubt was what you were looking for. Get off my site.
9. “My mom’s friends are hot” – Not sure what you were looking for but thanks for the 411. Get off my site.
10. “Naughty married getaway ideas” – Landed you to this post. Big Daddy P personally invites you to stay and gives you a gold star for a “rad” (his word) search term.
Top Giggle-Worthy Search Terms
1. “Daughter-in-law won’t let me in delivery room” – Ah yes, you didn’t get the golden ticket.
2. “Kate Plus 8 reviews” – I’m sure Mommy Friend Gwen appreciated that you landed on her guest blog spot.
3. “Crib jail” – I prefer the term “crib tent” but I hope you found this post useful.
4. “Fear newborn” and the related “Afraid of baby’s floppy necks” – I know! Hope you found this post comforting.
5. “Feeling selfish and pregnant” – Preaching to the choir, me too!
6. “Husband big kid” – Yeah, I know all about that.
7. “Is my 18 month old a genius?” – I don’t know, but consider this.
8. “Scrunchi” – Don’t get me started, grr.
9. “Hubby is watching Tour de France every night” – Obviously landed you here. My sincere condolences.
10. “My kid is always in trouble” – Mine too dear Mommy Friend, mine too.
Fellow bloggers, have search terms, referring sites or trackbacks caused you to change your personal blog standards or settings in any way? Do tell!
MOMMYFRIEND 
These are classic! Thanks for the link and the laughs.
Ha! I loved these! I should start paying more attention to my keywords..
Betsy, I don’t use Google analytics so I don’t know. It’s a strange new world out there!
Complicated Mama, Oy! I’m afraid this “whole new level” may be in the adult entertainment industry!
I love when other bloggers write about this – mainly because I don’t get to experience it myself.
Seriously, I’ve never had a single search option be sketchy.
I feel all bereft.
Oh my! How did you figure that out? I can only imagine who may be lurking around my space. Amazing the crazies that are out there. At least it makes for good blogging fodder for you, right? 🙂
Funny. I’m surprised you didn’t find worse. 😉 But, let me tell you how bad search terms are. When I was working at Pasadena High School, one of my girls was pregnant. She wanted to know about what stage the baby was at and what it would look like during that time. She looked up fetus. When she went to close the window of the pics of a fetus and stages, behind it were tons of pages of Porn!!! On a school computer! It was horrible. I felt so bad for her. It took me forever to close them up. They link stuff like that on purpose to anything.
Thanks for visiting my blog, “Inspire!” My latest posts are “8 Tips for Successful Living,” “No Happier” and “Celebrate!”Cheers,Ronhttp://inspiredbyron.blogspot.com/http://apps.facebook.com/blognetworks/blog/inspire_343432/
LMAO !! Great post, that is too funny. I should probably comment more I read your blog regularly. Love your style of writing.
Too funny!!!!! I didn’t know google analytics let you see where people find you. I’ll have to go look.
Too funny! I thought of you last night when I saw that the Tour de France is STILL on! By the way, you still don’t know my news…stop by my site when you get a free minute. (I know, what are those?!?)
that was hilarious!!! i just went to my analytics to see what my searches were….oh my! My favorite for my site was…”I ate my kid’s poop”…what in the world?!
Thanks for sending me to bed with a smile on my face…errr…you know what I mean. 🙂
Brilliant! I was LMAO at some of these..I get a lot of strange ones too. I recently had “hot blonde milf” I have no idea why;)
haha The cringe worthy ones are HILARIOUS..haha I think you’ve reached a whole new level of Mommy -Blogging 😉