The First Time

Today I received my first negative comment in response to a blog post and it was a doozy.  The comment is not written on this site but it’s out there in the universe like a bad penny.  I debated whether to write about the experience and decided not to.  Then I changed my mind because I’m a woman and we do that sort of thing.

The minute I published my very first blog post I lived in fear of this day, the day I’d witness someone’s written hatred in response to my motherhood reality.  I wondered how I’d feel.  I wondered if I’d regret the post.

I am human, I like to be liked and I like to be received positively.  It was always my hope that my love for my children and this amazing motherhood adventure would be an underlying theme in my writing.  Since I can’t undo what’s written, I’m focusing on what I know.  I know I am the best mom I can be and publishing a blog, especially about something as personal as motherhood takes cajones.

The beauty of motherhood is that we each have an opportunity to parent in accordance to our personal truths and values.

My mom always told me to keep my mouth closed unless I had something nice to say, so I’m choosing to say this to my nasty commenter:

Thanks for being my first nasty commenter; I’m honestly glad it’s finally over with.  Thanks for feeling free enough to speak your truth in response to mine. Thanks for the personal validation that I stand by my words in response to criticism.

To my Mommy Friends, thank you for your continued support and comment love.  While we might not always agree, we are bound by the determination to be the best mothers we can be.   I’m going to keep doing what I do; I know no other way.  Mommyfriend finds perfection in imperfection daily and I kinda like that. 


  1. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    I could not agree more.  Unfortunately these comments weren’t written on my site but I agree with you.  Blogging with integrity is about attacking ideas, not people.  The same should go for commenting as the two go hand in hand.

  2. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    Thank you for your encouragement Diane.  Chin up, soldier on!

  3. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    Thanks Complicated Mama.  The comments have gotten progressively worse…who knew I was so controversial?  Look at me all interesting or annoying…going with interesting.  It must be true that the first cut is the deepest because the follow-on comments didn’t sting nearly as much.

  4. You know 2+ yrs and- Ive never received a nasty comment yet— and Im kind of envious that you’ve gotten it done and over with– cause the fear does hang over you.Foget the Haters… focus on us lovers of our Mommy Friend! … cause you rock! 🙂

  5. I’m so sorry that happened! It sounds like your critic needs to watch Bambi a few more times (the part about Thumper). And for what it’s worth – I think you’re fabulous! I admire your courage to blog about your adventures in motherhood because it does invite a certain amount of vulnerability on your part. But I absolutely appreciate your candor on the subject! Keep it up! XOXO

  6. It’s all about these teachable moments. We can share with out kids the mantra, as you noted above ‘Unless you are going to say something to build someone up, do not say anything’. I tell my kids this on practically a daily basis – it’s good for them to know it applies to adults as well. Keep up the great writing. There are those out here that do appreciate your efforts!

  7. Bad comments are unnecessary. I think it is unnecessary to criticize or stand in judgment of anyone on a blog. You are right when you say that this is a personal journey as a mother, and that is the reason why other bloggers have no right to post bad comments… It is ok to have an opinion that is different. I am sure it will happen again… only now you know it is not you, only a reflection of them… *hugs*

  8. So fascinating. I mean, what would compel someone to take the time to write something hurtful? If you don’t agree with what you’re reading, then move on.

    You also can have a rule on your blog for commenters, basically saying that if they can’t be civil, they can’t post. Or nastiness won’t be tolerated or whatever. I’ve seen that kind of thing on many blogs.

    I hope you’re not too bothered. Add up all the positive or sympathetic comments versus the one, and I bet you’re looking pretty good!

  9. Wow. That’s all I have to say. If they didn’t care much for what you said, they should have stopped reading. To feel compelled to write something nasty to someone….that’s just a waste of life. There were other things I’m sure that they could have been doing instead of wasting your life having to read what they wrote.I like your blog, that’s why I follow. I hope my readers like what they get from me as well. But in no way are we here to insult our blog hosts. I hope you have taken a nice deep breath…exhaled the negative out…and continue doing what you do knowing that you have followers who care.

  10. Nasty comments can be difficult. Hugs. I’m here to catch up. Sorry I’ve been MIA lately. So much was going on. But – here I am. Back. 🙂

  11. Ouch!!! Who could possibly have anything bad to say about mommyfriend! I have just to have a nasty comment. I have had one that disagreed with my philosophy. The old saying is definitely wrong! Words do hurt you!

  12. It does hurt. I don’t understand why people have to be like that(I totally want to read it b/c I’m nosey like that). But, unfortunately, it happens. I had someone hate what I wrote so much that he actually wrote an entire post about how much my opinion sucks and how wrong I was, linked it to my post, and was “kind” enough to email me his link. Um, thanks?

  13. Well, after my own brush with a nasty commenter, you KNOW how I feel. It’s devastating. It hurts. It’s embarrassing. No matter how you try to prepare yourself for it, it still sucks. I’m sorry. I think you’re pretty fabulous! Please don’t let ANYONE make you think differently–even for a second!

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