Sibling Rivalry

 
I was born an only child but when I was 12, I got my very own “baby” stepbrother, age 9.  I didn’t quite know what life was like with a younger brother, but as a tween, a part-time brother meant a full-time exercise in sibling rivalry.

I loved my grody little brother, I really did.  We always clicked, because even at 9 he was all kinds of awesome (even for a boy) but that didn’t mean there weren’t plenty of speed bumps along the way.  We did what siblings do, we fought.  We fought over the T.V., fought who got to go first with anything and often fought just because we were good at it; really, really good at it.

Sibling rivalry continues to run rampant in my household today, only this time I get to act as referee without a nifty whistle.  Rodney King asked the pivotal question, “Can’t we all just get along?”  Well Rodney, the answer is a resounding no, at least not in my house.  Naive me, thinking sibling rivalry would be a non-issue with boys 5 years apart.  I daydreamed that my eldest would act as a mentor to Little BooBoo, teaching him things and protecting him.  In turn, Little BooBoo would admire his older brother, respecting him and feeling protected under his watchful eye.  Their relationship would be harmonious, all for one and one for all.  Instead it’s an eye for an eye and these boys are keeping score (note: Little BooBoo is way ahead in case you’re placing bets).

Truthfully, every now and again I get to witness a glimmer of true brotherhood.  Every once and a while, when they think no one is looking, they show each other real tenderness and genuine compassion.  In those moments I think for half a second that I’m doing something right, and then one of them pokes the other in the eye on purpose and I snap back to reality.  They fight over who sits where, who watches what and who plays with what.  I mean, since when is my eldest into playing with a toddler toy?  Well, that would be when Little BooBoo is playing with it, of course.  They fight over nothing, anything and everything in between.
 
Then it dawned on me, fighting is actually fun for them, like super fun.  They enjoy fighting with each other.  Yep, fighting it is one of the few things at 5 years apart they can and choose to participate in together.  And Little BooBoo, with his fighting spirit is a pretty equal match and worthy opponent for my eldest.  Could it be that one day their super-fantastic brotherhood will result because of all this fighting?  I think just maybe.  This realization floored me, talk about thinking outside the box!

While this epiphany was certainly eye-opening, if I never had to say, “Don’t sit on his head” or hear “He’s hitting/scratching/touching/poking/bothering me” again it would be too soon.  To say I’m over it would be the understatement of the century.

While sibling rivalry is a totally normal and a healthy part of child development, personally it’s aging me and that’s just not fair.  I know you Mommy Friends have got it going on, how do you keep sibling rivalry in check and prevent subsequent facial wrinkles?