Privacy Please!

Like every Mommy Friend, when my kids were babies I would change my clothes in front of them, unconcerned about privacy of any kind.  I peed with the door open so I could listen for breathing (or a lack thereof) and my exhibitionism was undoubtedly due to motherhood jitters, rather than love for my postpartum bod.  Once my kids became toddlers and started noticing things like bras and underwear, privacy became an issue for me.  My kids would just have to somehow survive in the 3.2 seconds it took me to pee because Mama was now closing the door, or forever answering questions relating to why I sit to go potty and what these feminine products are used for. 


My bathroom door

Of course my kids are curious.  Mom has different body parts than they do and wears this absurd contraption called a bra.  Both of my kids have stolen bras out of the laundry to examine their mystery, only to parade it around the house like 16 year old that just got to second base, hilarious. The human body is natural and our children will be curious, I just don’t want them solving all the mysteries too early and with me as their model.  I know nudity is natural and all that good stuff but now that my kids are so interested, I can’t help but feel prudish in front of them.  Am I alone in this? 

But what if you were comfortable with nudity, are the rules different around your children?  Clearly, privacy boundaries are individual to each household.  

Nudity is only one aspect of privacy in the home, co-sleeping is another, at least for me.  Co-sleeping is commonplace in many cultures and I know a few Mommy Friends who strongly believe in its merits.  I was never into sharing my bed with my kids because I am a selfish bed owner who likes her sleep. 


A self-proclaimed bed hog who likes her sleep.

In my experience, there is simply no way to get a good night’s sleep with a toddler kicking your ribs and head-butting your face, yet somehow people manage.  While I love the idea of my kids crawling into my bed on a cold Sunday morning to snuggle, it has never once proved to be as delicious and picturesque as I would expect.  There is inevitably an elbow jab to a boob or a kick to somebody’s jewels and it usually ends in someone doubled over in pain…or maybe a California King is the answer? 

I also happen to believe the marital bed is a sacred place, and not because of what you’re thinking.  Damn Mommy Friends, get your dirty minds outta the gutter!  I feel like the parental bed is the only place (aside from the toilet you just reclaimed) that is yours.  You share the entire house with your little ones; don’t you deserve this one little spot?  For me, my little haven is my bed.  The only time I have bent this rule was when a child was sick with a scary high fever.  In this case, keeping your child nearby is almost essential for careful monitoring.  Once that toddler gets better however, they continue to insist on sharing your bed as if they have never known their own.  Two nights in Mommy and Daddy’s bed is like an eternity in their little mind and they somehow need to learn how to sleep alone all over again.

My 7 year old is now commanding privacy of his own and he takes it very seriously.  Privacy for his 45 minute showers, privacy while dressing and privacy while using the bathroom.  Of course Little BooBoo, who is 2, loves to prance around naked and rips off his diaper for an impromptu striptease if he thinks anyone is watching.  While we all get a good chuckle out of his exhibitionism, for the rest of us, privacy matters.