Beautiful Disaster

Yesterday, my co-worker and his wife brought their 5 day old son to work and I could not get over how little that baby was. I mean, the baby wasn’t a preemie; he was born 7 lbs. 10 oz and 19.5 inches long. A very healthy and normal sized baby by anyone’s standards. Logically, thank God babies are small, because when you are pushing one out, it might as well be the size of a Buick. I was talking recovery with the new mom, and the exhaustion on her face was telling as her testimonial from the battlefield. We talked nursing and she admitted she was having difficulty and her boobs were very sore and scabbed. She also has stitches in her nether region which can ruin anyone’s day. Talking with her reminded me of those very painful first few weeks I had conveniently forgotten. Make no mistake, I didn’t actually “forget” anything, you couldn’t, even if you really wanted to.

Giving birth is the equivalent of surviving a tour of duty and your memories of the birth experience and recovery are likened to the night terrors a veteran experiences. God bless this new mom.  She looked about 4 months pregnant after giving birth and walked with very slow, calculated steps from the pain. I was filled with genuine compassion for her physical state because I’ve been there. Stripped of all humility for having given birth, even the most modest of women will find herself whipping out her enormous breasts to feed her infant without thinking twice. Why? Because they aren’t really “her” breasts. Her breasts are much smaller, firmer and have much smaller, lighter nipples than these monsters now attached to her chest. Your belly is also all stretched out and really squishy and you are suffering from uterine contractions even though you already delivered! You’re also bleeding the equivalent of 10 missed periods in a row and are passing some pretty scary-sized clots (TMI). And you thought pregnancy meant no periods! Oh, and the first time you have to make a bowel movement after delivering! Talk about being scared and justifiably so!

My heart really went out to these new parents because I remember how tough the transition into parenthood was. The physical and emotional demands on each parent are just the beginning and the additional financial strain on the marriage comes soon thereafter. Thankfully, the transition to parenthood is relatively short since you are forced into a sink or swim situation the moment you are discharged from the hospital. In about a week, you’ll suffer from the strangest case of amnesia and you’ll only remember fragments of your life before your baby was born. As such, you’ll stumble into the parenting role without an ounce of grace.