If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve probably noticed this new hashtag/hobby I’m trying on for size called #Lorigoesshopping, which is actually pretty weird because I’m not a stylish person AT ALL. I don’t have an enviable closet, I have to Google words like “peplum”, and I can literally be found wearing the same five outfits every five days.
In spite of these fashion faux pas, I’ve been stripping down to try on wouldn’t-be-caught-dead-in / I-could-never-afford-this / I-need-a-pick-me-up / please-God-let-this-fit / can-I-pull-this-off / all-the-cool-kids-are-wearing-it clothing for a while now. I do when I have money. I do it when I don’t. I do it for laughs. But most of all, I do it for fun.
But it hasn’t always been that way.
I’ve stood naked and vulnerable in dressing rooms where negative self-talk screams the loudest. I’ve examined every flaw under harsh florescent lighting and fought back tears. I’ve hated my body, cursed my curves, and I secretly hoped that with every garment invited in, I might finally make peace with my body — that some sacred, chosen item might fit in all the right places. That it might transform the silhouette of all that I loathed. That it might make me feel happy, confident, and better than I felt on the inside.
But it never happened. Never once. And maybe that was because there was nothing wrong with my body in the first place. From that realization forward, I decided to start making shopping fun.
For me, the shopping experience is about so much more than clothes. It’s about taking time for myself, playing around with self-expression, working toward self-acceptance, and learning to silence self-limitation. And even though I still I ask myself with every swipe of clothing on the rack whether I have the body/style/personality/guts to wear a particular item, what people might think of me in it, or whether I’m worth it, I’m learning instead to ask whether the item is worthy of me.
True story: I was at @Forever21 and I tried on this dress and I was pulling and pulling on the zipper. I was getting all hot and sweaty and huffy and stuff and the dressing room attendant must of heard me because she asked if she could help me with anything. I opened the door all disheveled and frustrated because the zipper was broken and I loved the dress and it was the only one left on clearance. She inspected the zipper and said, "Ma'am, the zipper isn't broken. It only zips up that far." I then said something very ma'am-like like, "Really? Oh, my." And just like that I became my mother. #Lorigoesshopping #shopping #forever21 #prude #dressingroom #dressingroomselfie #notthistime
You see, you and I possess bodies worthy of celebration. They’ve created life. They’ve sustained it. They’ve given. They’ve suffered. They’ve healed. They tell stories. And they’re beautiful — each and every one.
So maybe shopping doesn’t have to make us feel bad anymore. Maybe fitting rooms can be fun and even a little silly. And maybe we can share in the experience together, because shopping’s more fun with friends. So with that, I cordially invite you into my dressing room for laughs, lessons, and some seriously unflattering lighting.
What are we still doing here? Let’s go shopping!