The Tooth Fairy, Stale Donuts and Fair Market Tooth Value


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Boy Wonder lost his 2 front teeth at the donut shop about a week ago.  It was dramatic.  The lady behind the counter couldn’t believe it.  She swore the donuts were fresh.

Boy Wonder has a convenient memory; he “remembers” things he only wished happened.  Like how the Tooth Fairy leaves him $10 per tooth.  That never happened.  I know because I am the Tooth Fairy and I leave $2 per tooth.  I think that’s pretty darn generous too.

Everybody knows the Tooth Fairy collects teeth and leaves money.  As far as Boy Wonder knows, his missing teeth have traveled to a far off tooth landfill in some mystical Tooth Fairy universe 60 miles northeast of Oz.  I suspect he doesn’t care much either so long as he’s paid.  This kid likes his money. 

On our drive home from the infamous donut shop Big Daddy P asks me right in front of Boy Wonder, “Where do you keep all the teeth Mommy?”  Really Big Daddy P?  After shooting him the mom stare of death I snapped, “ME?  I don’t have them!  Everybody knows the Tooth Fairy takes them!”  I was practically hysterical.  If Boy Wonder wasn’t suspicious about the Tooth Fairy’s existence before, he would have to be now thanks in whole to my dramatic reaction.

And then we have Tooth Fairy gender confusion.  I refer to the Tooth Fairy as a she, after all, I am her and she is me.  Big Daddy P refers to the Tooth fairy as a he, not that there’s anything wrong with that.  Boy Wonder doesn’t know what to think.  Again, I suspect he doesn’t care much so long as he/she/it is leaving him $10 per tooth.

In the end, the Tooth Fairy left him $8 total for both teeth and that’s only because they were front teeth valued at $4 a pop.  Applicable Tooth Fairy Law dictates that fair market tooth value is contingent upon the cash you can spare in your wallet, not to exceed $5 a tooth which is a pretty generous payday if you ask me. 

Boy Wonder was happy with the $8 (he better be) but he couldn’t quite figure out why one tooth was worth $5 and the other only worth $3.  I asked why they weren’t worth $4 each and he said because the Tooth Fairy left him a $5 bill and three $1’s.  Hmm.  Upon further consideration he decided it was because one tooth had a crack in it and the other one didn’t.  Funny toothless kid.


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Comments

  1. We played tooth fairy last night! My daughter asked us to please email the tooth fairy and ask her to leave the tooth and the money. Email? Really?? Kids are awesome.

  2. Oh dear… this is what I have to look forward to, huh? My husband isn’t so great at keeping the “secrets” already!!!

  3. You are one generous Mama!!! Or I’m cheap! LOL! He looks cute though with the missing teeth!

  4. Big Daddy P! What were you thinking?!? LOL Your son is funny! $5 for one; $3 for the other!

  5. Cute story!! One of my kids pretty much lost all his baby teeth one spring and saved all his money. It was amazing! He’d work at a loose tooth all day until it came out just for the $. Aren’t kids funny!

  6. Um, yeah, that’s very generous! I only got change as a kid, too. I’m scared how much fair market value will be when Q is old enough to lose teeth!Also, this post reminded me of when I was little and pretending to still believe in the tooth fairy. I could totally see my mom coming in, but I was pretending to be asleep. Like I didn’t want to spoil her fun. Ha!

  7. You’re the Tooth Fairy?! But I thought I was her!I think $4 a pop for those is pretty good since he lost them to a donut! We usually do $2 per tooth, but I remember only getting a quarter when I was little. Talk about inflation!

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