The Comment Bully

Bullying has become a huge part of our collective consciousness and not a moment too soon.  As we are learning, bullies aren’t limited to the playground.  They can be found in the most unlikely places, like on blogs.  Yep, I said blogs.

Most mom bloggers have been left floundering in the wake of a comment bully.  The comment bully is a breed that goes way beyond communicating a difference of opinion, they’re out to shred into every facet of a blogger’s motherhood reality for sport.  They do it because it’s easy.  It’s easy for a virtual bully to sit in the comfort of their own home and preach (IN CAPS, natch) that our parental choices are wrong, that we are undeserving, idiotic or worthy of name-calling. 

Comment bullies often presume to know everything from what non-organic meal we fed our kids last night to the kind of man we’ve chosen to procreate with.  They make radical personal assumptions that reach far beyond a 300 word blog post on potty training. 

As a certified blog junkie, I can honestly say the few times I’ve vehemently disagreed with a post, I’ve made every personal attempt to attack the idea rather than the writer.  Then again, I’m not the type to spew venom over things like co-sleeping and natural childbirth.  But even if I was, virtual bullying due to a difference of opinion is nothing short of a cheap shot begging for attention. 

And so I say this to the comment bully:

Calm down.  Seriously.  It was a disposable diaper.  Nobody died.

By nature of our subject matter it’s easy for mom bloggers to open up and share that which is most personal to us.  As much as we love it when you agree or relate to a post, we’re equally eager to hear your difference of opinion.  In fact, we welcome it.  We want to keep the conversation going.  We’re listening so long as you’re talking.

Love us, hate us, whatever.  Just be human to us because we deserve that much. 

Everyone deserves that much.


  1. Can I just say how much I love that cartoon?! LOL From now on, whenever I read a nasty comment on a blog, I’m going to picture that. Great post, too, btw! 🙂 Thank you for your support of The Mom Pledge!

  2. I hate that you’ve ever received a negative comment! Love your blog! Love how you share your life with us! 🙂

  3. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    Corine, I do love the John Mayer.  A lot a lot.  Like I doodle “Lori Mayer” on my folders and stuff and yet I understood your point because really, you’re totally right.

  4. haha “its just a disposable diaper people”


    And so true about how you comment the right way- I mean you didn’t bash me for bashing John Mayer… and I know, given your love for him- that was very hard to do. 😉

  5. Yikes! I don’t think I’ve gotten one yet!! Unlike the poem, words can hurt you! They stick with you a lot longer than you think they would.

  6. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    I’ve heard that too and yet somehow, I felt more like telling my kids how much I really do deserve them and that I’m really not “mentally-challenged” instead.  I’m thin-skinned but I’m learning. 

  7. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    You know we could be friends IRL!  Agreed, I’m way too lazy to rip into strangers.  I save that stuff for people I know.  LOL, just kidding!

  8. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    It’s very sad and by sad I mean totally pathetic.  I love feisty and gritty debate so long as it’s respectful.  It all comes down to human decency.

  9. I’m so over that mom who thinks her opinions are the “right” ones and feels it’s necessary to tell you so. I also L-O-V-E when they tear you to a million pieces…ANONYMOUSLY! My fave! Some people are just ridiculous and need to tear others down so that they feel better.

  10. When I disagree with a post, I just utilize that lovely red x in the top corner and don’t leave a comment. Easy peasy! And I have been blessed to have been mostly spared bullies around my place. I’m thankful for that.

  11. You know how I feel about this kinda stuff… people just take their opinions to far especially when it comes to parenting. Great post!

  12. Ugh, I hope I never experience this! Whatever happened to “if you don’t have anything nice to say…”

  13. I think you’ve “made it” as a blogger when someone spews negativity in a comment. Someone is jealous of you, right? This hasn’t happened to me yet, but I’m hoping to celebrate a bit if it ever does!

  14. Wow someone yelled at you because of a disposable diaper?? Geez, someone must really need a break from the kids (don’t we all :).

  15. It would never occur to me to leave a negative comment — if I disagree with someone’s opinion, I shrug and completely accept that not everyone will think the same way I do. *gasp* I’m not sure what I would do if someone left a negative comment for me…

  16. I am fairly new to blogging and haven’tyet had this joy. When I do I shall try and look at it as a good thing that my posts provoke some sort of reaction and that I have a bigger following. That said, I agree, why would anyone ever attck – they must be very sad people. Even if I disagree with a post I too like to discuss the idea and not attack the person. We can have a reasoned debate without reorting to bullying. Thansk for the post, glad I stopped by.Louise EdingtonInternational AuPair Finder

  17. So true! I write more about feminist issues; they have taken over my motherhood blog — but sometimes I get very rude people insisting that my call for empowerment is wrong. I think those people should write their own blogs and stay off mine. There’s a difference between having a differing opinion and being obnoxious. Great post. I Dugg ya or Digg’d ya.

  18. I think we could be friends IRL!! I totally agree with all that you wrote!!! Sometimes it seems like so much effort is put into slamming someone.

  19. Agreed!

    I don’t usually engage with negativity within comments. I’ll offer a differing opinion or perhaps why we do something a different way, but, really, if you don’t like what someone is saying….click away. It’s that easy.

    Shouldn’t the ‘golden rule’ apply in blogging as well?

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