Just Say No


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Like a lot of my Mommy Friends, I’m a Yes Woman.

I want to be everywhere and do everything for everyone.  I want to be the first person on your invite list, thought of as a valuable contributor and your general go-to gal.  In the prolific words of Cheap Trick, “I want you to want me.  I need you to need me.  I’d love you to love me.”

I don’t think I’m alone here.  I think we, as women and mothers are expected to please in a lot of ways.  We work hard and care a great deal; it feels all too often as if everyone wants a piece of us.

I feel as though lately I’ve been giving myself away to anybody and anything just for the asking.  And guess what, I failed to save a piece of myself for myself.

For this reason, I’m learning to say no.  Even to things I really wish I could say yes to.

By learning to say no, I’m really learning to say yes.  To myself.

Saying no isn’t easy (like at all) but I’m hoping this conscious exercise will better allow me to devote my full self to the issues and individuals I’ve made a priority in my life instead of a whole lotta nothing.  I wish my energy and time were limitless because my heart could go on and on forever, long after my body craps out.  But I’m human.  We’re human.

And no today doesn’t mean no forever, it just means no this time.  While “no” almost always feels personal, I assure you, it isn’t.  It’s not you, it’s me.  It’s me learning to say yes to myself and perhaps more importantly, feeling validated in doing so.

Are you a Yes Woman?  In what ways do you say yes to yourself?

Comments

  1. I have the hardest time saying no, too! All the time. And especially to my kids, haha!

  2. I learned the hard way that if you don’t tell your self YES when needed, your body will eventually say NOPE, can’t do it anymore!Bernicehttp://bernicewood.wordpress.com/2010/07/19/this-is-your-brain-this-is-your-brain-on-overload/

  3. I have been having a hard time lately dealing with the pressure to say yes, particularly at my job! Argh. I don’t like when The Job interferes with family time.

  4. I’ve learned an amazing thing – you DON’T have to pick up your phone. Then, the next day, or whenever you can/feel like calling back, be all “oh, sorry I missed you, I was so busy at home”. Which is ALWAYS true (even if it’s busy relaxing while the baby naps :).

  5. Good for you, Lori. I am also a yes woman! And as far as saying yes to me – it seems to happen more often when I just don’t have a choice. (sick or something to that effect) I think I have gotten a little bit better about this but still I’m sure all of us good say yes to ourselves a little more often.

  6. I am SO a yes person too! Its a curse!

    I always “feel bad” and then end up being stressed to the max cause I have 15million things going on at once.

    I’ve posted a few times ab learning to say “NO” also— but sadly, I still mostly say Yes. *sigh*

  7. We all have to say “yes” too often to realize that it’s time to say “no”. I sometimes wonder how did everything when I was in my “yes” phase!!

  8. I admit it. I’m a yes woman too.

    I need to really make more time for me and like you said all you have to do is say “No”.

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