OK, I’m going to publicly come out with this. I’m tired, and when I get tired I get snarky. The only thing worse than a tired Mommyfriend is a hungry one. I might actually have to do the blog walk of shame tomorrow, promise you’ll still love me tomorrow…
After I became a mother I became unfairly and unabashedly jaded toward childless people. Not all childless people, just those childless people who incessantly complain they are “so busy” and “so tired” all the time.
I thought I was so busy and so tired all the time before I had kids too, at least I think I did. Then again, my memory of my pre-kid existence is limited to my high school graduation and a piano recital or two. I’ve always been a mom, I was born a mom or at least that’s what it feels like.
Sometimes, when I’m especially busy/tired and I hear a childless person complain, in my head I’m thinking, “You’re busy? YOU’RE BUSY?! I work full-time and have 2 kids and homework and cooking and cleaning and errands and…at least at the end of the day your time is your own!” Wow, bitter much? Yuck, that attitude is really ugly and not representative of the person or mother I want to be, like ever. I’m not a mompetitor or a mom one-upper so why do I feel this way?
I feel this way because I’m tired. Really, really tired.
I think I’m jealous (and usually not in a good way) of people who get to sleep past 6 a.m. on the weekends. People who eat an entire meal seated and people who don’t have to move mountains and reschedule their entire universe when they want to go away for the weekend. People who spend their lunch hour actually eating instead of running errands. I miss those things a lot sometimes.
This is my life, the life I chose and the life I love. I adore my children, I adore motherhood but damn, this is hard. So much harder than I ever expected. Half of the guilt I feel is knowing how much harder life really could be. Listen mom of 4, I know you’re reading this thinking, “You’re busy? YOU’RE BUSY?!” I know mom of 4, I know. The other half of the guilt I feel is knowing how blessed I am to even have these beautiful children, lots of families aren’t so fortunate.
I’m blessed in a million ways and yet sometimes, in the midst of utter exhaustion I lose sight of the joy and fulfillment motherhood brings and that makes me feel pretty sucky.
Try as I might, I’m not always happy and satisfied. Sometimes I’m just tired.
And yes, I’d like some cheese with my whine.
MOMMYFRIEND 
Mommy Friends, this is a special treat, a comment by my retired boss! He knows me better than most and used to pass me a box of Kleenex every. single. time. I walked into his office because I used to cry at work all the time. Yes, I was that girl.
Thanks for visiting my site Bruce and you are so right, as always.
This may not make you feel any better but….. Being much older than you I can look back and appreciate what has gone before and can make several suggestions. Do this: Make a commitment to really remember this part of your life; it is the best part of your life, you just don’t know it yet. Keep journals, photo albums, audio and videos, whatever, of everything and everybody. When you get older you won’t be able remember when life was tough, the kids small, and you were always tired. (But it is an odd thing, you’ll want to remember). And this also includes trying to remember your working life too, it’ll become much more important to you later. Keep rememberances of your office, the people, and the good and hard times you had.Of course you’re tired. You work hard at being a great mother, a great wife and a great friend. You can be very proud of yourself. Keep your chin up, keep smiling, and don’t ask for Kleenex’s.Bruce
EXACTLY – Can so relate…
Thank you, thank you, thank you my dearest Mommy Friends for not making me feel like I royally suck for feeling this way. I nabbed me an awesome hubs who helps a lot but whew, this motherhood rollercoaster is exhausting sometimes! Thank you for all your amazing support and letting me know I’m not alone. It means so much. XOXOXO
oh boy, maybe its the weather …. my blog post yesterday, well 2am this morning, really (go figure) was
Pity party for one!
You sound like you are doing a fine job there, maybe all this ‘color’ has washed you out 😉
I agree completely. And here’s more guilt for loving that I am not the only person who feels this way.
I have two adorable little monsters and wouldn’t trade them for the world BUT it has forever changed my view of the word TIRED. And I really can’t stand listening to the childless friends complain about not having time or being tired.
I don’t have a lot of friends with kids and it is so refreshing to read this blog and see my thoughts and know that I am not going crazy! Thanks Lori.
I totally get where you are coming from with this. Sometimes I am just tired too, tired whiny and snarky.
I agree – it IS hard. When I get in those tired pity-party funks (and BELIEVE me, I do, too) I try to remember that this is just a season….sooner than I know it, my boys will be 17+, driving themselves around, sleeping till noon and I’ll be begging to spend time with them – or it will be college and I’ll be wondering if they’ll remember to call on mothers day….whenever I’m feeling ‘in over my head’ I know I just need some time to myself. Maybe hubby could take over for a few hours on a weekend day to let you re-charge – that does wonders for me.This video always helps me hit the mommy re-set button as well:http://www.wonderwomanwannabe.com/2010/05/making-ordinary-extraordinary-as-mom.html
Oh yes, even I can relate with one measly toddler. And only one of my close friends has a baby, so the rest are still complaining about childless stuff. But a couple of friends are pregnant now — is it evil of me to want to laugh in their faces and say, “Oh, you thought your life was hard before?” Hugs to you, Lori! I hope you get some downtime soon.
Oh, mama friend… I SO HEAR YOU. ARGH! I hate listening to my childless friends complain that they are TIRED. TIRED OF WHAT? Of waking up, and going to the bathroom ALONE? Of… cooking for yourself only? Of… not having to pick up 200 toys 300 times a day? Of being able to go out whenever you choose? Of being able to go to bed when you want? Of NOT having to change pee pee sheets once a week? Of not having the worry of having kids? Once, a childless friend of mine had the nerve to say: “You’re so lucky you’re on mat leave… you get to do nothing all day!” OH MY GOD. Say what?
Sigh.
Also, what is it with our childless friends who show up to dinners and such LATE? If we can make it on time… I’m sorry, they should be able to, too, right?
Great post!
Everything you wrote is so true, and you have a right to feel that way! Sometimes, we just have to vent a bit out.
“just those childless people who incessantly complain they are “so busy” and “so tired” all the time.”
I feel this way also about people with no children but with their beloved dogs. They say things like, “Oh, I know! I was up 3 times last night with Scruffy!” I DON’T CARE.
I agree 100%!!!It’s hard… really hard. But it’s worth it and I wouldn’t change it for anything in the world either.I recently became a mom of 4 and I’m just as busy as when I had 2 or 3! Or even just 1!
I still love you. I have always been a mom too. love it,live it and own it. But I’m freaking tired too. all the time. BUT. it won’t always be this way. My daughter is almost grown and bam reality is a beyotch. We can sleep when they are grown. HUGS!
No need to do a walk of shame tomorrow! I think you should have some cheese and wine later tonight with either a phone call to a friend or a chic flick!
We all need breaks from our wonderful exhausting lives as a mom. 😉
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, it does get easier as your children get older…they like to sleep in! 😀
I do love cheese and wine. Or cheese and whine. As long as the whining is about something I agree with.
I’ve only got one child but I…really want a maid? Or a job with fewer hours? Or a big inheritance to take care of those first two things.
I wouldn’t trade this life but all of those things would be welcome additions to it.
Thanks for being so honest. I know *exactly* how you feel. Most of my friends do not have children. And when they complain about being stressed or tired, there are days when I want to just drop my kids off for a week at their house and take over their “work”. IT’s not fair, I know this, everyone’s difficulties are relative to them. Still, sometimes….