The Laundress


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I didn’t want to take to Mommyfriend to complain about laundry because it’s a necessary evil, but yet, here I am waiting on my 4th load to dry. 

My life as a laundress has taught me valuable lessons involving color separation, the importance of cycle settings and perhaps most curiously, an intimate perspective into the day of each family member.

I could write an entire blog post on the sheer randomness of things found in my washer, I’m sure you all can. 


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I do laundry everyday because I am my mother’s daughter and because BooBoo is potty training.  In my zen-like state as laundress, I have uncovered 2 simple truths: 1) Laundry never ends, it’s like the freaking circle of life or something 2) Laundry never ceases to evoke personal emotion within me.

Items frequently found in the washer that evoke personal emotion:

Tissue – Lawd, I hate finding itty bitty bits of tissue all over everything.  Emotion: Loathing

Money – Finding even 2 lousy dimes in the washer makes me happy.  If you like money, I suggest you empty your pockets because finders keepers, losers weepers, or something like that.  Emotion: Joy

Rocks/Woodchips – I know the playground was fun, but please, let’s not try to take it home with us.  Emotion: Annoyance

Receipts – What did Big Daddy P buy?  Will he need this now illegible receipt someday?  Emotion: Curiosity

Ballpoint pens – I’m going to call this the greatest of laundry offenses.  Emotion: Anger

Dearest adorably dear family o’ mine, please: empty your pockets, turn your shirts right side out, un-ball your socks and pull your underwear out of your jeans.  

Laundry should never have to be so dramatic.  

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Comments

  1. Chapstick for me! My 7 year old insists on carry it around in his pocket and doesn’t take it out but neither do I so can I really complain???

  2. Oh laundry, why do you continue to multiply like two bunnies in love?!?! I can never keep up. The laundry continues to look like it is slowly taking over the house.
    Yes, pens in the laundry leave my blood pressure high.

  3. If you are successful in your endeavor to get the fam to do all the required emptying, turning, cleaning before clothing makes it to the laundry pile, do let me know what type of appliance you used to beat them over the head with? I’ll then give it a try in my home. I’m still trying to get the cooked on piece of gum that was left in my one kids pocket off my favourite workout pants…boo!

  4. I once washed my hubby’s pay check. Lets just say I was in the dog house for a long time and he doesn’t let me live this down!

  5. I totally agree about the crayons. Those badboys will mess your crapola up bigtime. I’m with Kristy on not separating stuff. Real men wear pink, right?

    I love that you added emotions to each one. Friggin’ classic.

  6. This is so funny. I love doing laundry right now, but you’ve made me really not look forward to it in the future…

  7. My son leaves all kinds of things in his pocket. I’m greeted by a new surprise every time I do laundry.

  8. Yikes! I only do laundry two days a week! I am not as good as you. I seriously throw it all in together – hell be damned about color separation! (And, I don’t do my husband’s clothes. He has to do his own.)

  9. I would add cell phone to the list of offensive items left in pockets!

  10. Mommyfriend Lori's Mom says:

    Let’s not forget the strongest “emotions” of all: Panic and Distress! That’s what you feel when the washer or dryer break and there you are with a full load of wet laundry!! Now that’s dramatic!!

  11. Uh-oh, I feel like I’m always doing laundry with two people – this is not an aspect of mommyfriendhood that I will be looking forward to one day. I agree about the crayons based upon an experience at a laundromat and I’m going to add chapstick to your list – nothing like little oily stains all over every piece of clothing.

  12. I thought it was comical when I opened up the email to your new post because I was just thinking that I should be throwing in a load of laundry when I decided that I first needed to catch up on 3 blogs. Yours being one of them. So true. It just never ends. And I’m with you. Love the change I find and let’s keep the pens where they belong! 🙂

  13. oy. you live with all boys so the sock and underwear thing…yea. You can train you little guys but Daddy? he is the old dog. laundry is the circle of life. lol

  14. I recently found $60 in my husband’s pants after they came out of the dryer. Finders keepers! Hey, that’s the rule.

  15. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    Nicole, oh my!  I have not had the pleasure…yet.

  16. Just so you know, a entire box of crayons will render you without a dryer …

  17. Amen to that!! It never changes, except of coarse the kids move out, get married, whatever and they become someone elses laundry problem.

Trackbacks

  1. […] you’re a lazy laundress like I am, you throw your worst toddler stains in the washer and pray for a miracle. It works […]

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