Favorites

I have always tried to be honest with you, Mommy Friends.  Sometimes when I am posting on a sensitive subject I feel the need to tread a thin line, this is one of those times.  The topic, Favorites.



There is a wonderfully popular children’s book, “You’re All My Favorites”, in which 3 little bears wonder how they can each be loved equally in spite of their differences.  As much as this beloved children’s book manages to warm my heart with its theme of reassurance, it sorta makes me wonder…Do you have a favorite child?

Ooo, did I actually just type that (cringe)?  Am I about to be crucified for even mentioning the “F” word –FAVORITISM?  It seems the favoritism cliché is as old as time and has lent itself to many years of therapy by adults who suffered from Middle Child Syndrome and stuff like that.  “You were always Mom’s favorite!” is a proclamation shouted around the world during bouts of sibling rivalry.  Favoritism, it feels so ugly to me but is it an awful truth?  My experience in this area is obviously limited as I was an only child; I certainly hope I was the favorite!

As you Mommy Friends know, our kids are super smart and while they may be too young to reconcile complex issues involving favoritism, they can most definitely sense it.  We have to ask ourselves, do we have a favorite child?  Do our actions reveal this ugly truth in spite of our words?  Is favoritism a matter of chemistry?  I certainly don’t know the answers to these loaded questions but they are worth asking ourselves.

I thought long and hard about this issue in the hopes of having some profound epiphany to share with you and this was the best I could come up with.

My favorite kid is the one who isn’t making me mad at the moment.  Pure and simple.  Whoever happens to be acting like a civilized human is my favorite…yep, I really am that easily swayed.  So assuming they are both acting well-behaved, do I actually have a favorite?  Ooo, I don’t even like asking myself that question.  This is going to sound like the ultimate cop out, so go ahead, roll your eyes because I am gonna say it anyway.  I really do love them both in such different ways and they each manage to bring out different facets of my personality.  I love that I can engage each of my kids in individual ways, unique to their personalities and yet both of their giggles melt my heart exactly the same.  If I’m being completely honest, I’ll tell you that I have dealt with rough periods in each of their developments that have made both of them my “least favorite” for a time, but that’s the thing.  A “least favorite” is still a favorite, so yes; they really are both my favorites.  I love them each wholly, I love their differences and I love that they always keep me guessing.  And just remember, the same truths apply to us as parents.  Junior may favor Dad on Tuesday and Mom on Wednesday; it doesn’t mean we are not both Junior’s favorites. 

We are the bestest Mommy Friends to our kids, no one could do it better. 

Individuality and a spirit uniquely theirs make it plain to see how each child can be your favorite.  Mommy Friends, it’s our job to make sure they know that.