This Heart of Mine

While I believe experience and maturity offer a lot in the way of perspective, I honestly feel like nothing provides greater perspective than parenthood.

I cannot think of a single experience, no matter how tragic or poignant that can change your thinking and overall attitude the way your children can. Why? Because from the moment your children are born, you are forever tested and tried. Motherhood is constant heartache. I don’t know about other mothers, but sometimes in the midst of genuine concern for my children, I wonder why we put ourselves through the pain. You know that saying, “To be a mother is to forever have your heart outside your body”? Well, it’s true. You never would have thought in a million years that you’d allow your heart to be so vulnerable, but you have, simply by becoming a mother. We allow ourselves the inevitable vulnerability because there is so much joy and happiness to be gained.

To experience the purest unconditional love from a child is enough to sustain your heart from a million more heartaches. As parents we believe we have unconditional love for our children but their love for us is unconditional in the purest sense. Think about it, as a parent, you are the universe to your children. They know no joy unless you feel joy. They know no love unless you show them love. Your household becomes all that they know as right and good in the world. When you think about the insignificant things we allow ourselves to be consumed by, you really begin to realize how unimportant all of it is so long as your children are healthy and happy. Like anyone, I need to be reminded of this simple truth when I find crayons in the washing machine and Hot Wheels in my purse. All too soon, the crayons and Hot Wheels will be a distant memory and I’ll wish for those simple annoyances in place of broken curfews and fights at school.

I remember when my oldest was having problems with potty training at 2 years old I told my mom, “I wish he was 4 already so we wouldn’t have this problem” to which she replied, “Nope, you’d have a different problem.” And she was right. I’ll tell you though, when I look at the way my kids see me in their eyes, I am invincible. I’ll always be beautiful, smart and hilarious…all the things I wish the world saw in me even at my worst. And that, my friends is worth all the heartache in the world, and then some.