My Life as a Mom



Parenting is the stuff decisions are made of. 

Despite all the childrearing books I’ve read, I’ve made most of my important parental decisions by trial and error.  The truth is that some choices have been made by necessity, some by compromise and some for no better reason than convenience.   

With that, I offer a quick and dirty summary of my life as a mom.  You deserve to know the kind of mom I am and it’s my sincere hope that you continue to love me anyway…because well, I’m lost without your love.

[Deep breath]

My Parental Choices

1.   I work full-time outside the home and always have.

2.   My kids have been in daycare full-time from as early as 5 months old. 

3.   My kids have been vaccinated against everything.

4.   I delivered naturally with my eldest, quite on accident.

5.   I delivered with an epidural with Little BooBoo, quite on purpose.

6.   I formula fed my eldest.

7.   I breast fed Little BooBoo.

8.   I have never made my own baby food.

9.   I have never used a cloth diaper.

10.  I still don’t know what gripe water is or what it’s used for.

11.  My kids eat sugared cereal.

12.  My kids eat dinner in front of the TV…often.

13.  My kids play with toy weapons.

14.  I am not, nor have I ever been, a member of the PTA…or a Room Mom…or a Team Mom.

15.  My kids have TV’s in their bedrooms.

16.  I am not opposed to spanking when the punishment fits the crime.

17.  I am a believer in the public school system, or at least our public school system.

18.  My kids save their gift money into a savings account because that’s always fun.

19.  My kids lick the spoon; the raw-egg, deliciously battered spoon. 

20.  My kids don’t like my blog and I can live with that. 

I have tremendous respect for the individual choices you Mommy Friends have made for betterment and progression of your families.  I also respect the values you have made priorities in your households.

I could never tell you what’s right, I could never tell you what’s wrong.  What I can tell you is that the choices Big Daddy P and I have made have been determined as those best to preserve harmony and stability within our particular household.

As confident as I am ever-so-slowly becoming as a mother, I ask you to please tread lightly.  Emerging maternal confidence is far from bulletproof.

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Comments

  1. Hello. First things first. I am not a Mommy. Nor do I ever want to be a mommy. It is complicated. Nevertheless, I came across your blog quite by accident but kept reading because I agree with the things I have read so far. I absolutely agree with the things you said in this post and appreciate your values. As a professional married women in the medical field I am constantly asked if I have children, why or why not and so forth. Truthfully I believe I am only asked because some woman see this as an opening to preen about their own children. Some of my past and current co-workers have been so obnoxious about their children it has completely driven me further away from that life avenue. It is free birth control. I am glad that people want to procreate and carry on their lineage. More power too them, but for goodnessake please do not live through them. And please do not make every work conversation about them. I especially dislike when several mommies start to one up each other’s child’s achievements. Really no one feels good after that starts. Single people and childless people just don’t care. (That sounds harsh, sorry.) Yes, I can smile and get some satisfaction out of a cute story once in awhile but please ladies don’t let your children become your identity. I promise I am not a child-hater but the older I get, the more disillusioned I become with children and teenagers in general. I wish people made their children behave better. Anywho, off subject a tich…I just wanted to say that I enjoy the blog. It is entertaining and relatable with out being obnoxious. And I will definitely be reading again.

  2. this post was a mix of real life and hilarious…my favorite blogging cocktail. your not alone in your vaccinating, formula feeding, tv watching parenting journey:http://www.binreallife.com/2010/07/i-usually-dont-feel-need-to.html

  3. Hi Lori!
    I appreciate your openness and honesty! I’ve made plenty of parenting decisions that others have not shook their heads at (and verbalized their disapproval at times). But sometimes I’ve had to learn things my own way and sometimes my decisions have been perfectly right for MY family, even if someone else doesn’t “get it.”

    Thanks so much for stopping by my blog yesterday … I’m so glad I found you through TMC (and I really enjoyed your TMC feature last week)! Following you and hoping to get to know you and your imperfect self better! Imperfection — I can certainly relate to that!

  4. Mommyfriend Lori's Mom says:

    You grew up with almost every item on your “Parental Choice” list and look at what an amazing mom, wife, daughter and friend you turned out to be! That’s what matters in life and I couldn’t be more proud of you! Don’t apologize for or doubt the parental decisions you make. Stand by your decisions and do what’s best for you and your family.

  5. ps, my comment may indicate that I was annon…no, not me, I just wanted to applaud your genuine response to them. ;)

  6. Oooh, girl – be HAPPY you had no need to know about gripe water…it’s a natural remedy to help with baby colic, stomach upset/gas, etc….we used it daily with our 2nd born – who was a major fuss pot the first 4-5 months of his life. We’re all in this together – thanks for sharing your perspective,(and responding so gracefully) I’m sure there’s much we can learn from one mommyfriend to another. ;)

  7. Your Mommy Friend Lori says:

    Dear Anonymous, 
    Thank you first and foremost for offering your perspective in such a heartfelt manner.  I appreciate the fact that you attacked the idea rather than the writer, so refreshing.  Hmm, this is making me think you are a fellow blogger perhaps?  You have no idea how much I appreciate and value the integrity of your sentiment. 

    I think you’d be hard pressed to find a working Mommy Friend who disagrees with the fact that our children deserve to be cared for by a parent rather than a caretaker.  As much as I would adore nothing more than to stay home and care for my kids, unfortunately it is just not a option for my family at this time. 

    For this reason, I’ve faced the demons of working mother’s guilt head-on and decided to focus on the positive aspect of what working motherhood means for my family.  I am able to offer security and healthcare to my family as a result of my job, things they would otherwise have to go without. 

    I couldn’t agree more with your sentiment and maybe someday down the road I will have the privilege to exercise an alternative parental decision.  Until then, I must play the hand I’ve been dealt without regret.  I am a working Mommy Friend and I believe in my heart that that’s OK because it simply has to be.  Thanks again for your thoughtful comment, it is much appreciated.

  8. I find your honesty really refreshing! You are the kind of Mommyfriend I like to have. You’re inspiring me to do a similar post. Your boys are adorable, btw.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I look at this list and it truly makes me respect the fact that you put it all out there! Bravo. Everything on this list seems fairly harmless to me… except one. I know people will think this view is unpopular. The kids in full-time day care. I swear I cast no judgment on you, I believe women should support each other and not tear each other down. It’s just that little ones really need a parent around during the day in my opinion. Missing out on a lot of moments there, for you… but mostly for them. Who do they have those moments with, the day care worker? I love what you do here on this blog, the truth is motherhood and all its choices are hard. Each parent has to make their own decisions for their family. I am always an advocate for the kids simply because they don’t get to choose whether or not they spend the bulk of the time with people who are not their parents. I hope you can take my comments in stride, and realize it is only my opinion. Just food for thought :)

  10. The longer you are in this job, the easier it gets to talk about. Well, I think it does. Pretty much everything on your list is also on my list. And i’m here to say, our 17 yo is a pretty fantastic kid despite all the daycare, sugared cereal and tv over the years.

  11. As someone with no kids, and no friends with kids, I’m largely ignorant of mom debates. But I’m assuming that the things on your list are contentious. So well done for you for putting them out there – whatever you and your husband feel is best for your family probably is.

  12. I went right back to work at 6 weeks and work full time. The baby was so tiny but so were our wallets and we needed to start buying diapers and such. I also formula fed this baby. The people in the hospital really just ruined that for me. They were like forcing the babys face to feed, I just was completely turned off by the whole thing and wanted a bottle ASAP. Anyway, its hard, the little one tried to stay up when we’re around too because she loves time with mommy and papi. I completely agree with this blog, we have to stand by our decisions and nothing is wrong or right, its whats right for the individual.

    Thanks mommyfriend Lori, your wisdom exudes you. LOL big word, whoa…

  13. First of all – what a BEAUTIFUL picture of you with your boys! Thank you for sharing your mommyhood with us – you are a fabulous mom!!! :)

  14. We have many things in common! And I have to say that with three boys, the TV saved me many time. But guess what…as they’ve gotten older they have not watched much tv!

    How do you do it all and work full time?

  15. I’m guilty of several of the comments you’ve mentioned, if not more. Who’s counting? Deep down I am though. Always good to know I’m not the only one. Somehow it makes one feel better.

  16. Bravo. I like you a lot. :)We are passionate beater-lickers here too. And if you find out what gripe water is, will you let me know? I’ve never heard of it!

  17. I hope mothers all across everywhere read this. BRAVO to you. Hooray for the choices that are right for you and your tribe. By being HONEST and open, you guide others to do the same. Thank you.

  18. And isn’t it crazy that we even have to worry about someone else saying something negative about our parenting choices?? Other than the obvious (abuse) why do we sometimes find it necessary to pipe up with our 2 cents worth? I think you’re a stellar mom! xoxo

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